Candy is Dandy, but Sugar is the Perfect Revenge

When Julia was about to turn 8 she decided she wanted a bunny. We had already gone through the hamster thing and JJ (Julia Junior) was buried in the backyard with notes of love and adoration written all over the fence by Julia and her friends.

On a Thursday night around 10:30 pm about three weeks before Julia’s birthday. Brian informed me in the “Oh by the way manner” that only a man can do, that he was bringing home a bunny for Julia the next day. He was getting it for free and it came with a cage and everything! I was furious – I didn’t want any more rodents in my house and the fact that he “forgot” to mention it until it was too late seemed just a little too convenient.

The next day the girls and I were having lunch with Samantha’s grade 4 teacher. It came out in conversation that they were heading to Las Vegas for 2 weeks and had nowhere for their beloved shih tzu to go. So naturally I offered to take him for her. I told the girls that we would tell daddy that we were keeping him for good. That they were giving him to us, wouldn’t that be a funny trick to play on daddy? They agreed and were delighted with the idea of pulling one over on their dad. I’ll see you that rabbit and raise you a dog!

That night, as promised Brian came home with the cutest bunny in existence. He rang the doorbell and I sent Julia to answer it. She squealed with delight, she was thrilled her very own bunny! Wow could the day get any better, Sugar was coming for a sleepover and now she had her very own bunny! In her excitement she burst out with “Daddy, we’re going to baby-sit Sugar and now he’ll get to meet my new bunny”.

Well that certainly backfired now didn’t it. I had somehow gotten myself a dog sitting gig and a rabbit and I didn’t even get the pleasure of terrifying my husband first. I didn’t even like dogs – or rabbits or anything fury for that matter.

I had never had a pet in my life (not counting the cat I had as a child. He only lasted 2 weeks and his only purpose was to try to get rid of a stubborn mouse. He scratched me on the face on his last day at our house – he must have known he was getting the boot) so I was not looking forward to the dog sitting thing.

Sugar came to stay with us for a week in August and my life hasn’t been the same since. He was 10 years old and very spoiled. He ate better than we did. His owner had prepared weeks worth of food (chicken breast with rice - I had to put a slice of ham on the bottom to encourage him to eat the rice and chicken). My biggest challenge was keeping Brian away from Sugar’s food. He couldn’t figure out where all these leftovers had come form. Sugar snacked on pistachios, which I shelled for him. On his first night with us, Brian ate all of Sugars pistachios - I had to buy more for Brian and Sugar to share.

On Sugar’s first night with us, I awoke to find him pacing in the hallway, making all kinds of noises. I woke Brian up – “what does he want – why is he doing that?” In a haze of sleep he informed me that Sugar probably had to go to the bathroom. Really, well I can do that; I’ll just take him to the backyard. So down the stairs we went. Sugar went outside, sniffed around lifted his leg and went for a pee against our maple tree. Wow – I was amazed that he had somehow communicated this need to me. I went upstairs and woke Brian up again and shared my astonishment at how smart Sugar was. Surely we were in the presence of four-legged brilliance. He must be gifted. Brian sleepily informed me that all dogs do that. NO WAY! was all I could come up with. Could it be true? Could these fury friends be able to make their needs known so easily? I was starting to come around. I could see a glimpse of what people were talking about when they said they were dog people. I took me the rest of the week to fully convert, but by the time Sugar left I was changed. I started referring to my self as a “recently converted dog person”. Two months later we adopted Winston – my first pet, it was love at first sight.

I Just Need 90 Minutes

I've had my head down and buried for the past couple of weeks dealing with an unexpected "bump in the road" at work. The girls are out of school and need to get from A to B while Brian and I are both at work with one car between us. Brian has decided that now is a good time to start "building things". My sister is getting married in September. Dexter the hamster died a violent death (no, Churchill did not eat him although I don't blame you for wondering) and if you swim in my pool, you risk frostbite. This is life, or at least life in my house and I'm pretty sure that my lifestyle is no different from any other mom out there.

It's a well known fact that sometimes (OK - frequently) we mom types tend to do for everyone else before we do for ourselves. We somehow end up on the bottom of the "to do" list, so it was with a spirit of rebellion that I booked a pedicure.

I had a gift certificate from Christmas (we'll ignore the fact that it is July and I'm just getting around to using it)so not only was I in for some pampering, it was free pampering, woo-hoo. I was practically giddy with excitement (again we're going to ignore the fact that I was that excited about a pedicure).

I went straight from work to the spa where I encountered a huge sign clearly stating that cell phones were not welcome. Being the rule conscious, respectful person that I am - I turned off my phone. I was led to the pedicure room and was offered a bottle of water. I sat in the chair with anticipation and set my feet in the steaming water. This was going to be good.

My Esthetician was politely chatting. - I grabbed a magazine. I just wanted silence and pampering - less talking more pampering please. She quickly got the hint and was happy to oblige. I picked out bubble gum pink nail polish (another bit of rebellion), sat in silence with my eyes closed and relaxed. It was soooo good. In case you're wondering - deep breathing and leg massages definitely go together. It was 90 minutes of no phone calls, no requests, no blackberry and no noise - and it was glorious.

I left the spa with toes that looked like 10 pieces of bubble gum. I felt peaceful, happy and energized. Good thing too because when I turned my cell phone back on, I had three voice mails, 2 IM conversations that I had missed and 2 "urgent requests".

In life sometimes you just need 90 minutes and when you do, you should take them because sometimes it's all you get......until next time that is!

On Staying Positive.......

A friend of mine is having a rough time and she's far away so I feel a little helpless. I've been thinking about her a lot lately and realised that it is very difficult to reach the age of 40 something without having suffered through a few rough patches along the way.

It is our journey and obligation as human beings to be tested and to endure. If we aren't tested we never see the blessings in our lives and we can never appreciate the victories, however small they might be.

Like many people, I have struggled with many things in my life, the most recent being breast cancer. Over the past 18 months I have struggled with varying degrees, to stay positive. There were days when I literally had to recite out loud the things that I was grateful for, and there were days when that list was really short. When that happened, it took every ounce I had to stay positive, but I did - I would recite my list, like a mantra, until I felt the familiar glow of gratitude.

Cancer has changed me. It has changed the essence of who I am and my struggle continues as I try to merge the person I was with person I am now.

As human beings we will always be challenged and tested. Hopefully we come out of those "rough times" having learned something. If we're really lucky we are left permanently aware.

Stay strong and persevere.

The Bike Ride Home

I did it! I actually rode my bike home from work. After months of talking about it and many false starts along the way, all the planets finally lined up and off I went.

It just so happens that my first ride home fell on the first really hot and humid day in Ottawa. I wasn't going to let that stop me, there had been too many "reasons" for me not to do it already.

I walked my bike over the gravel of the driveway onto the street. I climbed on. Apparently the fumes I had been inhaling all day made my balance a little off (that's my story and I'm sticking to it) because before I knew my it my bike and I were both on the ground. Not the best start. Hmmmmm, Sharon had offered to drive me home and she was still in the driveway, maybe I should take her up on that offer.

No easy way out this time. Back on I climbed and off I went. The ride was fairly typical for me. Lots of traffic, lots of hills and lots of heavy breathing - not the good kind. When I finally made it home I thought I was going to throw up - again fairly typical.

I called Brian to let him know that I hadn't succumbed to the heat or been hit by a truck. Apparently he wasn't hearing very well that day because he kept saying "What did you say? Are you Okay?" Alright - I might have been mumbling a little but can you blame me - air was my first priority.

Brian being the caring husband that he is suggested that I go for a swim. Certainly that would help cool me down. Great idea except that swimming would require me to change and I didn't think I could mange that. I decided to take my socks off and head to the pool.

My children came outside to find me floating on my chair in the pool (the closest thing to lying down that I could come up with at the time) with all my clothes on - except my socks of course.

Analysis time. Will I do it again - oh yeah. Did I like it - hell no - but I'm lucky that I have people in my life who inspire me to keep going - to not give up. So, when I'm struggling on my ride, I pull my strength from them and when I can breathe again, I say a word of thanks.

The Crazy Dog Lady

I like fury four-legged creatures, specifically dogs, you can even say I am a dog lover. I've come a long way in 5 short years. There was a time when I would hold my nose when I was around a dog, now I can't resist petting them and trying to win them over with promises of treats and love. Does this make me the "Crazy Dog Lady"? Not yet, because I only have two dogs......but I might be close.

The other day I said to myself, "I would like a third dog", but then I thought a third dog would definitely send me into the category of "Crazy". Another thought, maybe I'll just get a tiny dog and tell everyone it's a cat - that fixes the "Crazy Dog Lady" part but it leaves me with just plain old crazy. New thought - what about actually getting a cat?

With that thought in mind, I found myself at the pet store with Samantha (Sam), Julia and Julia's best friend also named Samantha (Sammi). First we looked at the puppies, and eventually we made our way to the kittens. They had three of the cutest Hymalayan kittens I had ever seen. They were $800.00 and while we were there someone bought one and let the girls hold it. Then the girls started and when I say girls I mean Julia and her BFF Sammi. "Please, please, please can we have one? They are so cute and small and great and I'll give you $300.00 towards it plus the $10.00 my mom gave you for lunch." That's right this offer came from Sammi. Julia said to her "You don't even live at our house". I pointed out that since they actually function as one person, she kind of did. The begging went on for about 10 minutes and I was afraid they would wear me down. I had to take action and do it quickly before I ended up with a cat. Finally I spotted my way out "Oh look" I said, "they have flip-flops over there." Sammi said "oooooo, I like flip-flops. Let's go."

Phew - that was a close one. Girls, you gotta love them especially when they are easily distracted by shoes!

As for the "Crazy Dog Lady" lesson learned. I think I 'll just stick to the two dogs I have and count my blessings......for now anyway :)

I'm a Delinquent Blogger.......

This is my first Blog all week and it's Thursday - unforgivable in the blogging world. Not to worry , I'm ready to go!

I took Winston and Churchill to the vet this week for their yearly physical and heart worm medication. After I paid the $400.00 plus bill, it got me to thinking about how much money these dogs cost us. That got me to thinking about how much we love these two fury creatures, even though they (mostly Churchill) get into all kinds of trouble, our lives would be so boring without them.

Speaking of trouble and Churchill - funny how those two words find themselves side-by-side so often - recently I came home to find little pieces of green plastic all over the living room floor.

It took me a few minutes to find the source of the green plastic. Finally, I spotted it. A few feet away on the floor I saw a tipped over peanut butter jar. Of course the lid (green plastic)was missing. When I looked inside the jar, I saw that the sides had been cleaned out and I mean squeaky clean, but only the first 3 inches. Stranger still, in the middle of the jar, the peanut butter had been formed into the shape of a cone. This is what we think happened.

The peanut butter was left on the table (I'm not naming names, but you know who you are....). As soon as we left for the day, Churchill began the arduous task of moving the peanut butter from the kitchen to the living room. Churchill is a small dog (about 20 pounds) and this was a big jar - and last time I checked he didn't have hands, so don't ask me how he managed this or why it had to be in the living room. Then he chewed off the lid, stuck his face in as far as he could and ate peanut butter for hours.

You might wonder how I know it was Churchill and not Winston. All I can say is trust me, it was Churchill - and he probably didn't share with his brother.

The New Den - We're Heeeeeere!

The move to the New Den is now complete. We have internet and phone lines and as of yesterday, we have a step that lets us walk in the door without falling over.

I figured this would be a good time to take inventory of our new digs! There are a few things we miss from our Hinchey location. We miss our corner store, the closeness of the mailbox and of course Janesh's little face in the window every morning.

Things we don't miss; the mangy squirrel that always came by, the crooked staircase, Govindh hearing us pee (he was polite and never mentioned it, but we know he heard), the cat that looks just like Catherine's but with a few extra parts (if you know what I mean....) and the 53 point turn to get out of the driveway.

There are lots of things we love about the New Den. We love all of the natural light that streams in from the windows. We love how bright everything is and our new workspace. We love Garlic King and Chahaya Malaysia - Yummo!!

There is just one little problem with the New Den....the steep 22 stair climb up to the office. We're trying to look at this in a positive way - it's good for us and we'll get in better shape right? Not sure if anyone is buying it but we're trying.

We have set a few small goals for ourselves - remember Cougars are not meant to climb stairs. First goal - to climb the stairs and not be out of breath. The first one to reach this goal will be awarded the title of "First One to Climb the Stairs and not be out of Breath". My money is on Catherine! Second goal - OK we only have one goal! For the record my money is on Catherine for that one too!

Batman Returns

Two nights ago at around 12:30 am, my 12-year-old daughter Julia came into our room. She woke us up and announced that there was a bird in her room. After a brief discussion I told her to go close her bedroom door and grab her pillow. We were in for some company. She came back a few minutes later and informed us that it wasn't a bird. It was a bat and it was hanging upside down on her blind. My first thought was "yeah right, a bat in your room..." I was too tired to argue, so after much giggling about "the bat in her room" she crawled in and we went to sleep.

The next morning, my husband went in and searched her room. No bat. When the girls got home from school, they tidied up their rooms. I was waiting for the "AAHHHHHH, we found the bat!!!" call, but it didn't happen. So where was it? Did she actually see a bat or was she half asleep and dreamt it? Goodness knows I have dreamt entire conversations that never actually happened. Off to bed we went comfortable in the fact the the "bat" was gone.

That brings us to 2:00 am this morning. This time it was my 15-year-old daughter Samantha. She is a very matter-of-fact kid, so when she came into our room she said "Yeah, Hi. There's a bat in my room. Can someone please come and get it out?"

So up the stairs we went to meet the bat. Sure enough there he was flying around Samantha's room. Julia had wrapped herself in a king sized duvet (so the bat wouldn't get her) and was jumping around shouting "I'm not crazy! There was a bat!" over and over again.

Brian opened the window and took off the screen hoping the bat would find his way out. He started to close the bedroom door, when suddenly I felt a "swish" over my head. Apparently it hadn't found the window. Brian grabbed an empty laundry basket (??) and tried to catch it. That didn't work so he traded it in for an empty shoe box and lid and proceeded to play "pong" with the bat. After several "pongs" the bat hit the floor. Brian picked it up with the box and brought it to the window. It flew away.

This morning Samantha reported that the bat kept flying into her window all night, trying to get back in (yeah right...he wants back in). Of course the girls think he left some friends behind..... I'll let you know if they're right!

Baseball Tournament - What was I Thinking!?!

Somehow I let Brian talk me into taking part in a Baseball Tournament. One of Brian's co-workers has a team that enters a charity tournament every year and one couple wasn't able to make it. That's where we came in. Sounds harmless enough until you add up all of the factors.

I've never been much of a ball player. Once, nineteen years ago I reluctantly entered a baseball tournament with Brian who was my boyfriend at the time. That pretty much sums up my baseball experience. I don't even like watching baseball unless there's popcorn involved.

Fast forward to last weekend. We were picked up by "Bus" at 10:30 am. When I say "Bus", I actually mean a fully equipped motor home. I contemplated hiding in the bedroom for the day but couldn't figure out how to get there without anyone noticing. After the introductions and some minor small talk, someone took my coffee and replaced with a beer. It was 10:45 am. This was vacation drinking without the vacation. It was going to be a long day.

We played three games, won one and lost 2. I got two base hits and 1 big bruise - not necessarily in that order. The rest of our team ranged in age from their late 20's to their early 30's. Considering Brian and I are in our 40's and hadn't played in almost 20 years, we held our own. Couldn't walk so well the next morning but what the heck - we had lots of fun! Sometimes listenting to Brian is a good thing. Don't panic - I said sometimes....;)

We're Going Camping!

Okay - the truth is Brian and I don't like camping - really we hate camping and we like cottaging only slightly more than we like camping. That brings us to the May Long Weekend - the unofficial start of summer. The unofficial start of "Cottage Season".

I have lots of friends who braved the freezing cold and rain to head to their cottages for the first long weekend of the summer,including my best friend (how we are best friends and so opposite is a completely different story). Our best friends love their cottage and spend every weekend they can there. If we want to see them over the summer, we have to go the cottage. We go once a year for one night. Last year Samantha brought her pink hard-top suitcase and her make-up bag - she has not had good camping role models.

This weekend we decided to go camping "Brian Style". We turned the heat off in the house, slept with the window open and froze. When I complained, Brian said "put on a sweatshirt -we're camping!". We grilled things on the BBQ, sat on the deck, gazed over a body of kinda green water, drank beer and didn't shower. Now this is my kind of camping! I liked it so much, I might go camping this weekend too!

Oh no, I Think I'm getting Old!

I know, I know "age is a state of mind". And I believe that to be true, which is why I am shocked when my 23 year-old brain looks at my 42 year-old face in the mirror. Even writing that number is a little unnerving.

I've discovered a few things recently and I attribute them to getting older. I need to wear more make-up to get the same result, my skin is doing weird things and I am starting to get wrinkles. I can handle all of that (I also need glasses now, so when I'm not wearing them I look great!!). It's my brain - my 23 year-old brain keeps forgetting stuff that my 42 year-old body wants to do. Easy stuff, like when I open a program on my computer,I forget what I was going to do or I walk into a room and forget why I'm there.

I started to panic a little bit until I started hearing the same complaints from friends, family and co-workers. Thank God we're all in the same boat, I would hate to spend "my best years" alone - but then again, I probably wouldn't remember anyway. Happy May 2-4!

First Solo Ride - Yeah Me!

I did my first bike ride alone last night. Apparently there's some big hockey thing going on that Brian was interested in watching (??), so I went on my own.

I did almost 8 kms and while I did not enjoy the bike riding part of it I did enjoy the peacefulness of it. Don't get me wrong, those hills are still killing me, but a little bit less each time and there were thousands of bugs to deal with too. Happy to report that I didn't eat any - although one flew into my eyeball.

All of that being said, there was something calming about biking through the streets of my neighbourhood. It's like I could see things I couldn't see before. I caught a glimpse of the person I used to be - the person before thyroid disease and cancer. I've only seen her twice in the past year and then only fleetingly. It was reassuring to know that she's still in there.

I'm beginning to think there might be something to this whole biking thing. I'm different now and I've struggled with finding the balance between old and new, but last night I saw the two merging. Could Brian be right - will I come to love biking? Who am I trying to kid? I hate biking, but maybe I'll hate it the way I hated running? Hmmmmm......I'll let you know when I figure it out!

Happy Mother's Day

I spent Mother's Day inside the Hershey Centre in Toronto watching the Cheer Alliance National Championships. When I say I spent the day there, I mean the entire day - 12 hours worth of day. Yet somehow it was very rewarding.

I watched Julia compete. I watched her pull strength from somewhere, conquer her fears and rise (literally!) above it all. The fact that they won Nationals is just icing on a very yummy cake and the best part is that she knows that. After the team was awarded their huge trophy (only a little shorter than Julia is) I told her how proud I was of her. And she knew it wasn't because they had won. She knew it was because she had worked all year long to get there and in the end she didn't let anything stop her from "leaving it all on the floor". That being said, winning a huge trophy really makes the ride home a lot easier.



While I watching thousands of cheerleaders do what they do best, I was in constant contact with my 15-year-old daughter Samantha. Thanks to my blackberry I can text like a teenager! She was at home sick and I felt horrible that I wasn't there. Alas the unanswered question of all mothers "How can I be in two places at the same time?" It's right up there with "How can I grow third arm?"

None of texts or phone calls included any complaining or whining. She asked how her sister did, wished me a Happy Mother's Day and told me about her weekend (in between bout of stomach upset). It dawned on me that she was fine without me there. The selfish side of me reacted first, feeling a little bit sad that I wasn't needed. Then the rest of me reacted and there was nothing but pride. She is confident and strong. She can handle herself and whatever situation comes her way - even when it's a weekend of her dad's cooking (I'm sure that's not why she was sick!).

My girls gave me the best gift I could have asked for (although I would never turn down a day-at-the-spa, just sayin'). They showed me their strength and their power. Thanks for a great Mother's Day.

Cheering on the Cheerleaders

My 12-year-old daughter Julia is a competitive cheerleader. People frequently ask me what team she cheers for and when I say "she doesn't cheer for any team", I get a weird look.

Julia cheers for Black Widow Cheer Gym and their goal is to win - and most of the time they do! They don't cheer for a team - they are the team. They're tough and strong and amazing all at the same time and cheering for the boys is just not gonna happen.

So what is it then? It's a really neat sport in that it combines gymnastics, dance and brute strength. If you're a base (the girls who catch the girl who gets thrown into the air like a rag doll)and your teammates call you a "tank" apparently that's a good thing. Another good thing is "leaving it all on the floor". Personally I'm not sure how that's supposed to be a good thing but it might explain why Julia's clothes are always left all over the floor?

Anyhow, we're off to Nationals this weekend in Toronto. There will be thousands of screaming cheerleaders - and let me tell you - if anyone knows how to cheer it's cheerleaders. It promises to be a weekend of fun, not enough sleep and coffee - lots and lots of coffee and hopefully a trophy or two! Fingers crossed.

Training Update #3

I know I promised pictures, but I forgot the camera. I will remember next time, I promise!

As for the ride itself, I have to say that things are getting easier. I took 5 minutes off my time, didn't feel like barfing - not even once - and had brief glimpses of enjoyment. Definitely steps in the right direction.

Tonight I'm going for a nice long walk (I might try to slip in a little running) and back on the bike Wednesday.

I have to say a huge thank you to Brian. Admittedly I'm not the easiest person to "help". I am fiercely independent and not very patient.

He is a fantastic cyclist and I suck, so in general the whole cycling thing just pisses me off. I usually start out each ride a tad cranky and complaining and things go downhill (pun totally intended) from there. God help us all if I have ride in bad weather. By the time we have finished our ride I'm downright miserable. And the only words that come out of my husband's mouth are words of encouragement. Stuff like "awesome job on that hill" and "you know, you're really doing great." He is still promising that it will get easier and that I'm going to love it. I don't love it - not even close, but I'll keep at it as long as Brian will put up with me. Frankly I don't know how he manages it, but I'm really grateful that he does.

Training - Still at it

Yesterday was my day off. Not from work or anything but from training. My DH graciously gave me the evening off. It makes me a little afraid for tonight but there is the promise of wine after, so that will keep me going.

During the week we keep the rides short - 6 kms or so. I have small goals. I just want to be able to bike without feeling like my chest is going to explode. What I like best is gasping for breath and glancing at Brian who might as well be standing still for the effort he is exerting. If I had any energy left I would punch him - but I don't and it's likely I would fall over anyway...... so I just keep breathing. No talking, no drinking, just breathing.

Long (for me) ride tomorrow - I'll take some pictures if I'm not barfing. I told you - small goals.

It's Lunch Day!

Tomorrow is Friday. In the Den, Friday means it's also "Lunch Day" - the only day of the week where we order in our lunch. We start talking about Lunch Day on Monday. It's starts innocently enough, someone says "what do you want to order this week?" the replies is usually "Hmmmmm, I'm not sure. What do you want?" And so it goes. All week long these kinds of exchanges can be heard around the office with no decision ever being made. Finally, Friday arrives and by 8:15am the discussion begins in earnest. "Seriously, what do you feel like?" By 11:00am a decision is made and we pick up the phone.

The funny thing is that we only ever order from two places. Greek or Chinese. That's it. And we usually get the same thing every time. So why do we contemplate where to order from every week with such enthusiasm and commitment? I can't say for sure, but maybe it's because we're all open to change and we all welcome new adventures.

Who am I trying to kid? It's because we're all obsessed with food and can't stop talking about it! Life in the Den is good!

Let the "Training" begin

The "Den" (see previous post titled "A Real Cougar in the Den") is relocating. I'll only be 8 kilometres from home, so when the lease on my van ran out, we decided not to get a new one. I would cycle to work. It seemed like a great idea when it was months away but now that we're down to 4 weeks it seems like a really bad idea.

My husband Brian has been an avid cyclist for years and he agreed to help me "train for commuting". We had our first ride yesterday. We went about 3 kilometres and up the first of three hills and when I had to stop......my lungs were threatening to erupt from my chest. When I could breathe again we kept going. Somewhere around kilometre 10, when I couldn't feel my butt anymore we stopped again. I said "I'm going to vomit". He said "You're doing great". We kept going. Finally we made it home and I was shocked to see that my legs had been transformed into elastic bands which made navigating through our split level house lots of fun. Not bad for the first ride of the season.

Analysis time - can I do the 8 kilometre ride to the office - you bet! Can I do the 8 kilometre ride to the office, work all day and then do it again - not even close! Looks like I have some work to do over the next 4 weeks.

Brian has promised me that I'm going to love riding my bike to work. He has promised that I'll be addicted to biking in no time. I only half believe him - especially after the near vomit, rubber legs of yesterday - but I'll give it a try and I'll keep you posted!

Starship Enterprise wallpaper - hmmm....maybe

So here's the thing - I like writing my blog. I think it's somewhat entertaining and if nothing else you'll get a chuckle out of it. I might say that I'm even proud of my blog - I'm actually doing regular entries (GO me!). Yesterday I would have said that I was a pretty good blogger. That was yesterday and now it's today and since then I've been introduced to Bambi Blue. Yes, that is her real name. She's a blogger with a couple of different sites (hotpinkgeek and bambigoesgreen). I really like her writing style and think I might be able to learn a thing or two. Don't panic, It's not like I'm going to start wallpapering my room with bridge of the Starship Enterprise ....well maybe the basement. Anyway she's got some cool things to say so I think I'll keep popping in!

How to Make your Mother a Porn Star

When we started FlapArt we were living in Toronto (Pickering to be specific). My mother used to come visit every summer for a week. She also used to (and still does) go through my bookshelf and help herself to any interesting titles.

It just so happens that the first "sample" for FlapArt was "How to Make your Mother Porn Star". Soooooo......when my mother came to visit, I strategically placed the "How to Make your Mother Porn Star" covered book on my coffee table. It wasn't long before she was lurking around looking for "a book to read while I'm here" - actually I think her bags were still at the front door. I sat back and watched, ready to bask in the glory of my trickery! Finally, she had spotted the book. She picked it up, read the cover, turned it over and read the back. Without a moments pause, she turned to me and said "exactly what do you have planned for me this week". I guess the joke was on me!

There are many things that remain a complete mystery to me - like why do I have to tell my husband not to shoot peas across the table at our daughter. But there are a few things that I have figured out and I've come up with a few "slogans to live by".

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.This applies to everything from wearing spandex to climbing mailboxes - right Julia?!?

The higher the skirt the lower the heel. OK - this may not always apply, but I'm raising teenaged girls so work with me here!

When you go to the chicken place for dinner don't get pizza - get chicken. If they made good pizza, they would be the pizza place. Trust me - get the chicken.

DO NOT drink and bid. Similar to do not drink and text (Allison and Jean) do not drink and e-mail(Sue-Anne) and do not drink and sleep on the bathroom floor (list is too long to include).

I'll let you digest and apply these "slogans to live by" before I share anymore - don't worry I have loads! Let me know how they work out for you.

A Real Cougar in the Den

I work with an amazing group of women. We are strong, assertive, funny, confident and blond. We work in a small space so there aren't many secrets and we like it that way that. We are all 40ish and we love great shoes and sushi.

One husband jokingly referred to our work space as the 'Cougar Den". The fact that all of us are married (I have the shortest marriage at 17 years) made the statement even more funny. He has threatened to buy us all catsuits - which we would happily wear - with the right shoes of course.

A couple of weeks ago we realised we needed to add a new member to our team. We found the right candidate and then it got down to the most important question. Was she "Den worthy"? Was she smart enough, self-assured enough, blond enough to really fit in? Turns out she's all of these things and more. Turns out she's 40 and her fiance is 30 - well, well. I'm pretty sure that makes her a Cougar! We happily welcome her to the Den.

Winston and Churchill or is it Hi and How are you?

I have two dogs - Winston and Churchill. They are white and fluffy, about 20 pounds each and the cutest balls of fluff on feet. BUT they bark like demons. Evey time I let them out they bark like they're insane so I'm constantly calling out to them. Imagine if they were named Hi and How are you instead of Winston and Churchill.

What would my neighbours think if they heard me yell "Hi, How are you, get over here!" or "Hi, How are you, drop that poop and get in this house right now" Would they come? Would they bring beer? If they did bring beer, could I eventually get them to bring wine? The opportunities are endless, if only I had thought of this sooner!

Cheers to all you stay at home moms

I stayed home with my girls for about 14 years. That's not to say that I didn't work while I was home. When the girls were 2 and 4, we wanted to get central air conditioning but we couldn't afford it. I worked nights and weekends at Red Lobster until the "eau de crab" didn't bother me or my husband anymore and we had saved enough for central air (about 6 months if you're wondering how long it takes to get used to smelling like fish). My point is that staying home with your kids is not all macaroni crafts, vacuum games and clean floors (like some suggest). It's sacrifice, exhausting and not very romantic at all. It's also the best thing I ever did.

How does this relate to FlapArt - well, it doesn't - it relates to me and I am more than a former stay-at-home mom and I am more than FlapArt. I am all of the above....and then some.