It's Lunch Day!

Tomorrow is Friday. In the Den, Friday means it's also "Lunch Day" - the only day of the week where we order in our lunch. We start talking about Lunch Day on Monday. It's starts innocently enough, someone says "what do you want to order this week?" the replies is usually "Hmmmmm, I'm not sure. What do you want?" And so it goes. All week long these kinds of exchanges can be heard around the office with no decision ever being made. Finally, Friday arrives and by 8:15am the discussion begins in earnest. "Seriously, what do you feel like?" By 11:00am a decision is made and we pick up the phone.

The funny thing is that we only ever order from two places. Greek or Chinese. That's it. And we usually get the same thing every time. So why do we contemplate where to order from every week with such enthusiasm and commitment? I can't say for sure, but maybe it's because we're all open to change and we all welcome new adventures.

Who am I trying to kid? It's because we're all obsessed with food and can't stop talking about it! Life in the Den is good!

Let the "Training" begin

The "Den" (see previous post titled "A Real Cougar in the Den") is relocating. I'll only be 8 kilometres from home, so when the lease on my van ran out, we decided not to get a new one. I would cycle to work. It seemed like a great idea when it was months away but now that we're down to 4 weeks it seems like a really bad idea.

My husband Brian has been an avid cyclist for years and he agreed to help me "train for commuting". We had our first ride yesterday. We went about 3 kilometres and up the first of three hills and when I had to stop......my lungs were threatening to erupt from my chest. When I could breathe again we kept going. Somewhere around kilometre 10, when I couldn't feel my butt anymore we stopped again. I said "I'm going to vomit". He said "You're doing great". We kept going. Finally we made it home and I was shocked to see that my legs had been transformed into elastic bands which made navigating through our split level house lots of fun. Not bad for the first ride of the season.

Analysis time - can I do the 8 kilometre ride to the office - you bet! Can I do the 8 kilometre ride to the office, work all day and then do it again - not even close! Looks like I have some work to do over the next 4 weeks.

Brian has promised me that I'm going to love riding my bike to work. He has promised that I'll be addicted to biking in no time. I only half believe him - especially after the near vomit, rubber legs of yesterday - but I'll give it a try and I'll keep you posted!

Starship Enterprise wallpaper - hmmm....maybe

So here's the thing - I like writing my blog. I think it's somewhat entertaining and if nothing else you'll get a chuckle out of it. I might say that I'm even proud of my blog - I'm actually doing regular entries (GO me!). Yesterday I would have said that I was a pretty good blogger. That was yesterday and now it's today and since then I've been introduced to Bambi Blue. Yes, that is her real name. She's a blogger with a couple of different sites (hotpinkgeek and bambigoesgreen). I really like her writing style and think I might be able to learn a thing or two. Don't panic, It's not like I'm going to start wallpapering my room with bridge of the Starship Enterprise ....well maybe the basement. Anyway she's got some cool things to say so I think I'll keep popping in!

How to Make your Mother a Porn Star

When we started FlapArt we were living in Toronto (Pickering to be specific). My mother used to come visit every summer for a week. She also used to (and still does) go through my bookshelf and help herself to any interesting titles.

It just so happens that the first "sample" for FlapArt was "How to Make your Mother Porn Star". Soooooo......when my mother came to visit, I strategically placed the "How to Make your Mother Porn Star" covered book on my coffee table. It wasn't long before she was lurking around looking for "a book to read while I'm here" - actually I think her bags were still at the front door. I sat back and watched, ready to bask in the glory of my trickery! Finally, she had spotted the book. She picked it up, read the cover, turned it over and read the back. Without a moments pause, she turned to me and said "exactly what do you have planned for me this week". I guess the joke was on me!

There are many things that remain a complete mystery to me - like why do I have to tell my husband not to shoot peas across the table at our daughter. But there are a few things that I have figured out and I've come up with a few "slogans to live by".

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.This applies to everything from wearing spandex to climbing mailboxes - right Julia?!?

The higher the skirt the lower the heel. OK - this may not always apply, but I'm raising teenaged girls so work with me here!

When you go to the chicken place for dinner don't get pizza - get chicken. If they made good pizza, they would be the pizza place. Trust me - get the chicken.

DO NOT drink and bid. Similar to do not drink and text (Allison and Jean) do not drink and e-mail(Sue-Anne) and do not drink and sleep on the bathroom floor (list is too long to include).

I'll let you digest and apply these "slogans to live by" before I share anymore - don't worry I have loads! Let me know how they work out for you.

A Real Cougar in the Den

I work with an amazing group of women. We are strong, assertive, funny, confident and blond. We work in a small space so there aren't many secrets and we like it that way that. We are all 40ish and we love great shoes and sushi.

One husband jokingly referred to our work space as the 'Cougar Den". The fact that all of us are married (I have the shortest marriage at 17 years) made the statement even more funny. He has threatened to buy us all catsuits - which we would happily wear - with the right shoes of course.

A couple of weeks ago we realised we needed to add a new member to our team. We found the right candidate and then it got down to the most important question. Was she "Den worthy"? Was she smart enough, self-assured enough, blond enough to really fit in? Turns out she's all of these things and more. Turns out she's 40 and her fiance is 30 - well, well. I'm pretty sure that makes her a Cougar! We happily welcome her to the Den.

Winston and Churchill or is it Hi and How are you?

I have two dogs - Winston and Churchill. They are white and fluffy, about 20 pounds each and the cutest balls of fluff on feet. BUT they bark like demons. Evey time I let them out they bark like they're insane so I'm constantly calling out to them. Imagine if they were named Hi and How are you instead of Winston and Churchill.

What would my neighbours think if they heard me yell "Hi, How are you, get over here!" or "Hi, How are you, drop that poop and get in this house right now" Would they come? Would they bring beer? If they did bring beer, could I eventually get them to bring wine? The opportunities are endless, if only I had thought of this sooner!

Cheers to all you stay at home moms

I stayed home with my girls for about 14 years. That's not to say that I didn't work while I was home. When the girls were 2 and 4, we wanted to get central air conditioning but we couldn't afford it. I worked nights and weekends at Red Lobster until the "eau de crab" didn't bother me or my husband anymore and we had saved enough for central air (about 6 months if you're wondering how long it takes to get used to smelling like fish). My point is that staying home with your kids is not all macaroni crafts, vacuum games and clean floors (like some suggest). It's sacrifice, exhausting and not very romantic at all. It's also the best thing I ever did.

How does this relate to FlapArt - well, it doesn't - it relates to me and I am more than a former stay-at-home mom and I am more than FlapArt. I am all of the above....and then some.