A friend of mine is having a rough time and she's far away so I feel a little helpless. I've been thinking about her a lot lately and realised that it is very difficult to reach the age of 40 something without having suffered through a few rough patches along the way.
It is our journey and obligation as human beings to be tested and to endure. If we aren't tested we never see the blessings in our lives and we can never appreciate the victories, however small they might be.
Like many people, I have struggled with many things in my life, the most recent being breast cancer. Over the past 18 months I have struggled with varying degrees, to stay positive. There were days when I literally had to recite out loud the things that I was grateful for, and there were days when that list was really short. When that happened, it took every ounce I had to stay positive, but I did - I would recite my list, like a mantra, until I felt the familiar glow of gratitude.
Cancer has changed me. It has changed the essence of who I am and my struggle continues as I try to merge the person I was with person I am now.
As human beings we will always be challenged and tested. Hopefully we come out of those "rough times" having learned something. If we're really lucky we are left permanently aware.
Stay strong and persevere.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
The Bike Ride Home
I did it! I actually rode my bike home from work. After months of talking about it and many false starts along the way, all the planets finally lined up and off I went.
It just so happens that my first ride home fell on the first really hot and humid day in Ottawa. I wasn't going to let that stop me, there had been too many "reasons" for me not to do it already.
I walked my bike over the gravel of the driveway onto the street. I climbed on. Apparently the fumes I had been inhaling all day made my balance a little off (that's my story and I'm sticking to it) because before I knew my it my bike and I were both on the ground. Not the best start. Hmmmmm, Sharon had offered to drive me home and she was still in the driveway, maybe I should take her up on that offer.
No easy way out this time. Back on I climbed and off I went. The ride was fairly typical for me. Lots of traffic, lots of hills and lots of heavy breathing - not the good kind. When I finally made it home I thought I was going to throw up - again fairly typical.
I called Brian to let him know that I hadn't succumbed to the heat or been hit by a truck. Apparently he wasn't hearing very well that day because he kept saying "What did you say? Are you Okay?" Alright - I might have been mumbling a little but can you blame me - air was my first priority.
Brian being the caring husband that he is suggested that I go for a swim. Certainly that would help cool me down. Great idea except that swimming would require me to change and I didn't think I could mange that. I decided to take my socks off and head to the pool.
My children came outside to find me floating on my chair in the pool (the closest thing to lying down that I could come up with at the time) with all my clothes on - except my socks of course.
Analysis time. Will I do it again - oh yeah. Did I like it - hell no - but I'm lucky that I have people in my life who inspire me to keep going - to not give up. So, when I'm struggling on my ride, I pull my strength from them and when I can breathe again, I say a word of thanks.
It just so happens that my first ride home fell on the first really hot and humid day in Ottawa. I wasn't going to let that stop me, there had been too many "reasons" for me not to do it already.
I walked my bike over the gravel of the driveway onto the street. I climbed on. Apparently the fumes I had been inhaling all day made my balance a little off (that's my story and I'm sticking to it) because before I knew my it my bike and I were both on the ground. Not the best start. Hmmmmm, Sharon had offered to drive me home and she was still in the driveway, maybe I should take her up on that offer.
No easy way out this time. Back on I climbed and off I went. The ride was fairly typical for me. Lots of traffic, lots of hills and lots of heavy breathing - not the good kind. When I finally made it home I thought I was going to throw up - again fairly typical.
I called Brian to let him know that I hadn't succumbed to the heat or been hit by a truck. Apparently he wasn't hearing very well that day because he kept saying "What did you say? Are you Okay?" Alright - I might have been mumbling a little but can you blame me - air was my first priority.
Brian being the caring husband that he is suggested that I go for a swim. Certainly that would help cool me down. Great idea except that swimming would require me to change and I didn't think I could mange that. I decided to take my socks off and head to the pool.
My children came outside to find me floating on my chair in the pool (the closest thing to lying down that I could come up with at the time) with all my clothes on - except my socks of course.
Analysis time. Will I do it again - oh yeah. Did I like it - hell no - but I'm lucky that I have people in my life who inspire me to keep going - to not give up. So, when I'm struggling on my ride, I pull my strength from them and when I can breathe again, I say a word of thanks.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
The Crazy Dog Lady
I like fury four-legged creatures, specifically dogs, you can even say I am a dog lover. I've come a long way in 5 short years. There was a time when I would hold my nose when I was around a dog, now I can't resist petting them and trying to win them over with promises of treats and love. Does this make me the "Crazy Dog Lady"? Not yet, because I only have two dogs......but I might be close.
The other day I said to myself, "I would like a third dog", but then I thought a third dog would definitely send me into the category of "Crazy". Another thought, maybe I'll just get a tiny dog and tell everyone it's a cat - that fixes the "Crazy Dog Lady" part but it leaves me with just plain old crazy. New thought - what about actually getting a cat?
With that thought in mind, I found myself at the pet store with Samantha (Sam), Julia and Julia's best friend also named Samantha (Sammi). First we looked at the puppies, and eventually we made our way to the kittens. They had three of the cutest Hymalayan kittens I had ever seen. They were $800.00 and while we were there someone bought one and let the girls hold it. Then the girls started and when I say girls I mean Julia and her BFF Sammi. "Please, please, please can we have one? They are so cute and small and great and I'll give you $300.00 towards it plus the $10.00 my mom gave you for lunch." That's right this offer came from Sammi. Julia said to her "You don't even live at our house". I pointed out that since they actually function as one person, she kind of did. The begging went on for about 10 minutes and I was afraid they would wear me down. I had to take action and do it quickly before I ended up with a cat. Finally I spotted my way out "Oh look" I said, "they have flip-flops over there." Sammi said "oooooo, I like flip-flops. Let's go."
Phew - that was a close one. Girls, you gotta love them especially when they are easily distracted by shoes!
As for the "Crazy Dog Lady" lesson learned. I think I 'll just stick to the two dogs I have and count my blessings......for now anyway :)
The other day I said to myself, "I would like a third dog", but then I thought a third dog would definitely send me into the category of "Crazy". Another thought, maybe I'll just get a tiny dog and tell everyone it's a cat - that fixes the "Crazy Dog Lady" part but it leaves me with just plain old crazy. New thought - what about actually getting a cat?
With that thought in mind, I found myself at the pet store with Samantha (Sam), Julia and Julia's best friend also named Samantha (Sammi). First we looked at the puppies, and eventually we made our way to the kittens. They had three of the cutest Hymalayan kittens I had ever seen. They were $800.00 and while we were there someone bought one and let the girls hold it. Then the girls started and when I say girls I mean Julia and her BFF Sammi. "Please, please, please can we have one? They are so cute and small and great and I'll give you $300.00 towards it plus the $10.00 my mom gave you for lunch." That's right this offer came from Sammi. Julia said to her "You don't even live at our house". I pointed out that since they actually function as one person, she kind of did. The begging went on for about 10 minutes and I was afraid they would wear me down. I had to take action and do it quickly before I ended up with a cat. Finally I spotted my way out "Oh look" I said, "they have flip-flops over there." Sammi said "oooooo, I like flip-flops. Let's go."
Phew - that was a close one. Girls, you gotta love them especially when they are easily distracted by shoes!
As for the "Crazy Dog Lady" lesson learned. I think I 'll just stick to the two dogs I have and count my blessings......for now anyway :)
Thursday, June 4, 2009
I'm a Delinquent Blogger.......
This is my first Blog all week and it's Thursday - unforgivable in the blogging world. Not to worry , I'm ready to go!
I took Winston and Churchill to the vet this week for their yearly physical and heart worm medication. After I paid the $400.00 plus bill, it got me to thinking about how much money these dogs cost us. That got me to thinking about how much we love these two fury creatures, even though they (mostly Churchill) get into all kinds of trouble, our lives would be so boring without them.
Speaking of trouble and Churchill - funny how those two words find themselves side-by-side so often - recently I came home to find little pieces of green plastic all over the living room floor.
It took me a few minutes to find the source of the green plastic. Finally, I spotted it. A few feet away on the floor I saw a tipped over peanut butter jar. Of course the lid (green plastic)was missing. When I looked inside the jar, I saw that the sides had been cleaned out and I mean squeaky clean, but only the first 3 inches. Stranger still, in the middle of the jar, the peanut butter had been formed into the shape of a cone. This is what we think happened.
The peanut butter was left on the table (I'm not naming names, but you know who you are....). As soon as we left for the day, Churchill began the arduous task of moving the peanut butter from the kitchen to the living room. Churchill is a small dog (about 20 pounds) and this was a big jar - and last time I checked he didn't have hands, so don't ask me how he managed this or why it had to be in the living room. Then he chewed off the lid, stuck his face in as far as he could and ate peanut butter for hours.
You might wonder how I know it was Churchill and not Winston. All I can say is trust me, it was Churchill - and he probably didn't share with his brother.
I took Winston and Churchill to the vet this week for their yearly physical and heart worm medication. After I paid the $400.00 plus bill, it got me to thinking about how much money these dogs cost us. That got me to thinking about how much we love these two fury creatures, even though they (mostly Churchill) get into all kinds of trouble, our lives would be so boring without them.
Speaking of trouble and Churchill - funny how those two words find themselves side-by-side so often - recently I came home to find little pieces of green plastic all over the living room floor.
It took me a few minutes to find the source of the green plastic. Finally, I spotted it. A few feet away on the floor I saw a tipped over peanut butter jar. Of course the lid (green plastic)was missing. When I looked inside the jar, I saw that the sides had been cleaned out and I mean squeaky clean, but only the first 3 inches. Stranger still, in the middle of the jar, the peanut butter had been formed into the shape of a cone. This is what we think happened.
The peanut butter was left on the table (I'm not naming names, but you know who you are....). As soon as we left for the day, Churchill began the arduous task of moving the peanut butter from the kitchen to the living room. Churchill is a small dog (about 20 pounds) and this was a big jar - and last time I checked he didn't have hands, so don't ask me how he managed this or why it had to be in the living room. Then he chewed off the lid, stuck his face in as far as he could and ate peanut butter for hours.
You might wonder how I know it was Churchill and not Winston. All I can say is trust me, it was Churchill - and he probably didn't share with his brother.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
The New Den - We're Heeeeeere!
The move to the New Den is now complete. We have internet and phone lines and as of yesterday, we have a step that lets us walk in the door without falling over.
I figured this would be a good time to take inventory of our new digs! There are a few things we miss from our Hinchey location. We miss our corner store, the closeness of the mailbox and of course Janesh's little face in the window every morning.
Things we don't miss; the mangy squirrel that always came by, the crooked staircase, Govindh hearing us pee (he was polite and never mentioned it, but we know he heard), the cat that looks just like Catherine's but with a few extra parts (if you know what I mean....) and the 53 point turn to get out of the driveway.
There are lots of things we love about the New Den. We love all of the natural light that streams in from the windows. We love how bright everything is and our new workspace. We love Garlic King and Chahaya Malaysia - Yummo!!
There is just one little problem with the New Den....the steep 22 stair climb up to the office. We're trying to look at this in a positive way - it's good for us and we'll get in better shape right? Not sure if anyone is buying it but we're trying.
We have set a few small goals for ourselves - remember Cougars are not meant to climb stairs. First goal - to climb the stairs and not be out of breath. The first one to reach this goal will be awarded the title of "First One to Climb the Stairs and not be out of Breath". My money is on Catherine! Second goal - OK we only have one goal! For the record my money is on Catherine for that one too!
I figured this would be a good time to take inventory of our new digs! There are a few things we miss from our Hinchey location. We miss our corner store, the closeness of the mailbox and of course Janesh's little face in the window every morning.
Things we don't miss; the mangy squirrel that always came by, the crooked staircase, Govindh hearing us pee (he was polite and never mentioned it, but we know he heard), the cat that looks just like Catherine's but with a few extra parts (if you know what I mean....) and the 53 point turn to get out of the driveway.
There are lots of things we love about the New Den. We love all of the natural light that streams in from the windows. We love how bright everything is and our new workspace. We love Garlic King and Chahaya Malaysia - Yummo!!
There is just one little problem with the New Den....the steep 22 stair climb up to the office. We're trying to look at this in a positive way - it's good for us and we'll get in better shape right? Not sure if anyone is buying it but we're trying.
We have set a few small goals for ourselves - remember Cougars are not meant to climb stairs. First goal - to climb the stairs and not be out of breath. The first one to reach this goal will be awarded the title of "First One to Climb the Stairs and not be out of Breath". My money is on Catherine! Second goal - OK we only have one goal! For the record my money is on Catherine for that one too!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Batman Returns
Two nights ago at around 12:30 am, my 12-year-old daughter Julia came into our room. She woke us up and announced that there was a bird in her room. After a brief discussion I told her to go close her bedroom door and grab her pillow. We were in for some company. She came back a few minutes later and informed us that it wasn't a bird. It was a bat and it was hanging upside down on her blind. My first thought was "yeah right, a bat in your room..." I was too tired to argue, so after much giggling about "the bat in her room" she crawled in and we went to sleep.
The next morning, my husband went in and searched her room. No bat. When the girls got home from school, they tidied up their rooms. I was waiting for the "AAHHHHHH, we found the bat!!!" call, but it didn't happen. So where was it? Did she actually see a bat or was she half asleep and dreamt it? Goodness knows I have dreamt entire conversations that never actually happened. Off to bed we went comfortable in the fact the the "bat" was gone.
That brings us to 2:00 am this morning. This time it was my 15-year-old daughter Samantha. She is a very matter-of-fact kid, so when she came into our room she said "Yeah, Hi. There's a bat in my room. Can someone please come and get it out?"
So up the stairs we went to meet the bat. Sure enough there he was flying around Samantha's room. Julia had wrapped herself in a king sized duvet (so the bat wouldn't get her) and was jumping around shouting "I'm not crazy! There was a bat!" over and over again.
Brian opened the window and took off the screen hoping the bat would find his way out. He started to close the bedroom door, when suddenly I felt a "swish" over my head. Apparently it hadn't found the window. Brian grabbed an empty laundry basket (??) and tried to catch it. That didn't work so he traded it in for an empty shoe box and lid and proceeded to play "pong" with the bat. After several "pongs" the bat hit the floor. Brian picked it up with the box and brought it to the window. It flew away.
This morning Samantha reported that the bat kept flying into her window all night, trying to get back in (yeah right...he wants back in). Of course the girls think he left some friends behind..... I'll let you know if they're right!
The next morning, my husband went in and searched her room. No bat. When the girls got home from school, they tidied up their rooms. I was waiting for the "AAHHHHHH, we found the bat!!!" call, but it didn't happen. So where was it? Did she actually see a bat or was she half asleep and dreamt it? Goodness knows I have dreamt entire conversations that never actually happened. Off to bed we went comfortable in the fact the the "bat" was gone.
That brings us to 2:00 am this morning. This time it was my 15-year-old daughter Samantha. She is a very matter-of-fact kid, so when she came into our room she said "Yeah, Hi. There's a bat in my room. Can someone please come and get it out?"
So up the stairs we went to meet the bat. Sure enough there he was flying around Samantha's room. Julia had wrapped herself in a king sized duvet (so the bat wouldn't get her) and was jumping around shouting "I'm not crazy! There was a bat!" over and over again.
Brian opened the window and took off the screen hoping the bat would find his way out. He started to close the bedroom door, when suddenly I felt a "swish" over my head. Apparently it hadn't found the window. Brian grabbed an empty laundry basket (??) and tried to catch it. That didn't work so he traded it in for an empty shoe box and lid and proceeded to play "pong" with the bat. After several "pongs" the bat hit the floor. Brian picked it up with the box and brought it to the window. It flew away.
This morning Samantha reported that the bat kept flying into her window all night, trying to get back in (yeah right...he wants back in). Of course the girls think he left some friends behind..... I'll let you know if they're right!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Baseball Tournament - What was I Thinking!?!
Somehow I let Brian talk me into taking part in a Baseball Tournament. One of Brian's co-workers has a team that enters a charity tournament every year and one couple wasn't able to make it. That's where we came in. Sounds harmless enough until you add up all of the factors.
I've never been much of a ball player. Once, nineteen years ago I reluctantly entered a baseball tournament with Brian who was my boyfriend at the time. That pretty much sums up my baseball experience. I don't even like watching baseball unless there's popcorn involved.
Fast forward to last weekend. We were picked up by "Bus" at 10:30 am. When I say "Bus", I actually mean a fully equipped motor home. I contemplated hiding in the bedroom for the day but couldn't figure out how to get there without anyone noticing. After the introductions and some minor small talk, someone took my coffee and replaced with a beer. It was 10:45 am. This was vacation drinking without the vacation. It was going to be a long day.
We played three games, won one and lost 2. I got two base hits and 1 big bruise - not necessarily in that order. The rest of our team ranged in age from their late 20's to their early 30's. Considering Brian and I are in our 40's and hadn't played in almost 20 years, we held our own. Couldn't walk so well the next morning but what the heck - we had lots of fun! Sometimes listenting to Brian is a good thing. Don't panic - I said sometimes....;)
I've never been much of a ball player. Once, nineteen years ago I reluctantly entered a baseball tournament with Brian who was my boyfriend at the time. That pretty much sums up my baseball experience. I don't even like watching baseball unless there's popcorn involved.
Fast forward to last weekend. We were picked up by "Bus" at 10:30 am. When I say "Bus", I actually mean a fully equipped motor home. I contemplated hiding in the bedroom for the day but couldn't figure out how to get there without anyone noticing. After the introductions and some minor small talk, someone took my coffee and replaced with a beer. It was 10:45 am. This was vacation drinking without the vacation. It was going to be a long day.
We played three games, won one and lost 2. I got two base hits and 1 big bruise - not necessarily in that order. The rest of our team ranged in age from their late 20's to their early 30's. Considering Brian and I are in our 40's and hadn't played in almost 20 years, we held our own. Couldn't walk so well the next morning but what the heck - we had lots of fun! Sometimes listenting to Brian is a good thing. Don't panic - I said sometimes....;)
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